The Grief We’re Given: Poems by William Bortz
In April 2021, just after I’d received my second Pfizer vaccine but before I’d begun to feel comfortable with face-to-face get-togethers, I received this beautiful hardcover book of poetry in the mail as a Goodreads Giveaway. It was sent by the author, William Bortz, with a bookmark on which he had printed:
one day I decided to take a step and it hurt less than standing still
This brave book, and the act of reaching out by gifting it to others, were precious offerings of hope that despite having to distance ourselves physically from others, we could still share our vulnerability and truth intimately with each other. The Grief We’re Given could easily be William Bortz’s answer to Sigrid Nunez’s What Are You Going Through. His poetry answers that question with a grace and humility all of us can appreciate.
These vivid poems are united by similar themes: How do we cope with life’s temporality? Can we (should we) forgive and forget trauma? Can gratitude and bitterness co-exist? Can the effect of loss be gain? The poems differ in that the artist is experimenting with form. Some poems are written in prose style; some in stanzas. For some, I found myself responding to stunning lines rather than the poem in its entirety. Here are a few examples.
/ I imagine a bullet is fired each time I take a breath; and it is hard to believe there is enough dirt to cover and fill every hole a pair of healthy lungs creates / [From Tonight Nothing’s Worse Than This Pain in My Heart: After “El Paso” by Marty Robbins, p. 11] ….
/ I spoke the name of every person I missed so quickly they caught on fire / [From A Generation Sweating Back into Their Skin, p. 19] ….
nothing ends as much as it unfolds into another becoming // so by the end of this I’ll be a new flame on an old torch // lighting up a familiar darkness [From Sometimes the Sheep Don’t Come Back, p. 69] ….
this is all to say
there is nothing I am
trying to get over –
just some small
calamities I am learning
to carry [From In the Direction of the Mountain I Scream, p. 93]
Other poems were for me, truths not to be fragmented. The following are a few examples.
PIETY
we are all out
to sea
some looking for a
lighthouse
others, a current [p. 55]
BENEDICTION
it is morning & I’m fine with this
despite the frequency to which
I state the antithesis
another day rarely brings something
devastating in totality
if that were true
I wouldn’t be saying this [p. 94]
One of my favorite poems, written in stanzas, appears below.
A LOT ABOUT UNDOING
how many things have broken
in your hands as you hold them
ask the blushing night
how many stars have burst in
its palm. I have been thinking a lot
about undoing. I lose a tooth
and gain a phantom pain. I lose a
brother and gain a memory
I truly should have less
I have pulled so many
petals the soil asked me
not to touch
loss always gives back
loss always keeps our hands full [p. 13]
I’ve reread each poem repeatedly and forced myself to slow my roll as I read. I realize now that incredible discussions would emerge if readers came together after spending time appreciating The Grief We’re Given on their own. It would be a celebration of humanity to be able talk candidly about the questions and thoughts Will Bortz’s poetry inspires. Just a few of those appear below.
…how the idea of having to survive yourself could ever be reasonable [ From Depression Medicine, p. 52],
…the perception that “at our best, we are in a crowded room of ghosts swaying to unheard music” [From Crossing the Bridge Right at Eventide, p. 99],
…how one becomes “cherished / to the point they begin examining the overflow of their own heart” [From What Is There Left for Me to Love, p. 76], or
…how we can askfor something not vital to our survival, “but paramount in unknotting its brilliances” [From Paramount, p. 14].
In his brief biography, the author states that his “aim in writing is to explore how joy lives in uncertainty and mourning.” In my opinion, he has done this with both power and dignity.
Once again, thank you to Will Bortz, Central Avenue Publishing, and Goodreads Giveaway for this amazing collection!
